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The Tell-Tale Signs
of Spiritual Abuse
by PariYah
"By their fruits you shall know them," Matthew 7:16
Abuse -- it’s an ugly term that comes in multiple varieties, all sinister. Under every shade, it always produces pain and trauma. Its victims often suffer silently, agonizing over what might have been, what should have been if only they would have acted sooner. While abuse has torn asunder marriages, divided families and deprived sons and daughters of having normal childhoods, this often-silent destroyer too often goes passively unresisted in the world of religion, where faith and affiliation serve as the tie that binds many families together. Here, its effects can be utterly devastating, perhaps likened to a pasture of sheep ravished by wolves with no guardian shepherd around. Some find themselves dead to religion afterward, forever carrying the scars of spiritual abuse to their graves. Others, perhaps just a few in number, have learned to fight back against their abusers, promising to themselves "Never again!"
Driven by an obsession to live up to higher standards, some churches and religious groups turn spiritually abusive as a means to control their members and stifle dissent. Over time, their leaders typically blame the members for the group’s failures and lack of progress while covering up their own deficiencies. By playing on members’ fears of losing their salvation, these spiritual abusers hold their congregations under the sway of their manipulation, often using the fear of Gehenna fire, eternal damnation, to keep them under their thumbs.
If you suspect a certain church or religious organization has turned from the straight and narrow into the wayward direction of spiritual abusiveness, you should begin your investigation by looking for corruption in high places – namely, in the words and actions of the group’s leaders. As the Messiah pointed out to the unscrupulous, judgmental Pharisees of His time, corruption typically manifests itself as the leaven of hypocrisy and double standards. Many of the religious leaders of this age are no different, or perhaps are even worse. This document seeks to expose their spiritual leaven, using the pronouncements of the Scriptures to condemn their corrupt behavior.
So-called Bible churches or groups built on a Scriptural foundation that feature many of these tell-tale signs should be regarded with caution and suspicion. Behind each sign of possible spiritual abusiveness may be many horror tales that tell of the mistreatment and manipulation of the innocents at the hands of conniving and controlling church leaders -- the ravenous wolves among the flocks of believers in the end times of whom the Apostles forewarned us. Resist those who teach you things you know to contradict the Scriptures, who teach a different Messiah, or who teach that the path to salvation must go through them. Our Heavenly Father, YHWH (thought to be pronounced "Yahweh"), does not change and is by no means the author of confusion.
If you have relatives, friends, or acquaintances in a questionable organization where several of the characteristics below apply, gently urge them to open their Bibles to the Spirit of the Word and have them analytically consider these things for themselves whether they ought to be. Pray daily for them that the Holy Spirit will give them the discernment to understand what is happening and will lead them to a way of escape. Once they have gained their freedom, blow the shofar for them and pray regularly that they will be spiritually healed from the abuse and trauma they have endured.
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50 Tell-Tale Signs of a Spiritually
Abusive Church
by PariYah
1. Pyramidal power structure. As with the pharaohs of ancient Egypt who built kingdoms and monuments to themselves on the backs of rigorously controlled slave labor, so too are the spiritually abusive churches of modern times. And like the Satanic pyramid with the all-seeing eye, spiritually abusive churches and cults often are structured with the power emanating from the top down, keeping a suspicious eye on what everyone below is doing. Government is a key doctrine in spiritually abusive groups, where one glorified person at the top has the only say in all organization decisions. Within this Egyptian power structure, spiritual leaven naturally begins to ferment. The truth of the matter, though, is that only the Almighty Himself is the head, 1CO. 11:3. In DEU. 17:14-20, Israel is warned against having a man placed as king over them lest he misuses his power to make himself wealthy at the expense of reducing the people to virtual slavery. In the end, it seems that even those who begin with the best of intentions end up corroborating the age-old truism that "absolute power corrupts absolutely." The Messiah, Yah’shua (Jesus) of Nazareth, came to serve, not to be served, emptying Himself of His powers and humbling Himself before His Father and before men, PHP. 2:1-11. The Almighty’s servant is truly humble, not striving for his own self-aggrandizement, 2TI. 2:24, JOHN 13:3-15. In opposition to the oppressive Egyptian system, the Messiah, who came as a suffering servant, demonstrated humility by coming to serve from the bottom up, not from the top down.
2. Unregulated authority. Spiritually abusive practices often are the result of leadership that is unaccountable to a higher authority or board of review. Without such, members don’t dare question their pharaonic leader. Over time, the unaccountable leader consolidates his power over the group and finds ways to silence any would-be critics. Sometimes, boards or committees may be established for the appearance of propriety. In reality, though, they exist merely to rubberstamp the leader’s decisions and actions. The Pentateuch, or Torah (the five books of Moses, GEN. – DEU.), indicates that spiritual authority is to be distributed among many and not consolidated solely under one, DEU. 16:18-20 and EXD. 18:13-17, 24-26. An example of authority under the Apostles is given in ACTS 15. Note how the Apostles spoke in unity, without dissension. As shown, the chief person in charge, whether it was Moses or James, had the final say in matters of judgment. However, they also were to rely on others to help them make decisions. In ancient times, authority was divided between the high priest and the judge or king. Today, this dual arrangement continues in the synagogue and in some churches where authority is split between the head rabbi or pastor and the president of the congregation. The president concentrates on temporal, financial, and secular issues while the rabbi or pastor is free from the influence of lucre to focus strictly on spiritual concerns. Not only did Moses have Aaron to assist him but also the seventy elders, see NUM. 11:16-30. The council of seventy elders later developed into the Sanhedrin, which was in authority during the Messiah’s lifetime. In the Apostolic age, ministers were specifically prohibited from despotically lording over their congregations, 1PE. 5:3-6. Rather, all are called upon to serve one another, JOHN 13:12-15, GAL. 5:13. In the end, all must answer to the Almighty Himself and be held accountable, EZK. 34:1-16; ROM. 2:6, 14:12-13; 2CO. 4:5. The Scriptures show repeatedly that wayward rulers were confronted by prophets, sent by the Almighty to show them their errors. Sadly, those who would speak out against abusive and cultish behaviors in the church are persecuted, as were the prophets of old, ZEC. 1:4; MAT. 23:34; ACTS 7:52; also see PSA. 8:2; MAT. 21:16; LUKE 10:21.
3. Leader worship. A spiritually abusive leader typically craves adoration and the ability to control his followers. Typically charismatic, he may adopt lofty titles to increase his purported importance. Followers are encouraged to pray that the Almighty will continue to guide and protect the leader and to thank Him for giving them such a wise and astute person to lead them. Almost invariably, the leader becomes the focus of the ministry and the one around which everything revolves, instead of the Most High. Rather than seeking divine guidance, they go to him for direction, even over trivial matters, contrary to DEU. 17:8-13, which specifies coming for judgment in "matters too hard for you." Sadly, this passage is one that spiritually abusive ministers misconstrue to mean that absolute power has been given to them. A closer examination of the text shows at least two separate individuals, not one, acting in authority: the priest and the judge. Besides them, there may be other priests and judges as well, along with the High Priest/Chief Judge -- who is the Messiah Himself. See also JER. 17:5-7.
4. A question of loyalty. Whom do you serve? Essentially this is the question that eventually comes forth to members of spiritually abusive groups. Whereas they might be given the impression that their loyalty is to the Heavenly Father first, then to the Son, and then to the leader, the leader will cleverly use the Scriptures to usurp the loyalty of believers, which is rightfully reserved alone for Almighty YHWH, JOS. 24:14-15. Once it is determined that a follower is not absolutely loyal to the group’s leader, that person can expect to be scorned, both privately and from the pulpit. As with the Pharisees of the Messiah’s lifetime, the leaders’ assistants will look for occasions that they can use to bring an accusation against the person so that he may be excommunicated, or disfellowshipped, from the group and shunned as a despised apostate or reprobate. After he has been cast out, he is used as an example of what happens to a person when he comes down with a "negative attitude" or when he supposedly allows sin to enter into his life. Yet, these same modern-day Pharisees will chafe and backlash when their sins of pride and self-righteousness are pointed out or their controlling, mean-spirited attitudes toward others are exposed, MAT. 23:5-12, 23-28.
5. Profuse praise. An immediate indication of an abusive ministry is the way in which the leader is profusely praised and lauded by his followers, MAT. 23:6-7. If the leader were truly humble, he would insist that the congregation refrain from such statements but give the glory and praise to whom it rightfully should be directed instead: to Almighty YHWH, the Most High, our King and Creator, REV. 22:8-9.
6. ‘I am the way.' Spiritually abusive leaders may elevate themselves to being on the same level as one of the Messiah’s chosen Apostles, or even on the same level as the Messiah Himself. They may claim to carry the very keys of salvation and have the authority to determine who will be allowed into the New Jerusalem and who will be kept out. Without the leader, it is asserted, believers would not have come into knowledge of the Truth. By not embracing the leader’s unique message, it is insinuated that they are destined for damnation -- contrary to what the Messiah teaches about His role as Savior in JOHN 14:6. Thus, these abusive leaders in effect making themselves anti-messiah, i.e. in place of the Messiah. By their prideful self-exaltation, they put themselves into a position of power and control over their followers, making their teachings absolute and making themselves the final arbiters of all doctrinal issues, 1TI. 6:3-5.
7. ‘My way or the highway!’ Sadly, some spiritually abusive groups may begin as noble organizations, only to transform over time into oppressive petty dictatorships, revolving around devotion to the charismatic leader instead of love and obedience to the Father and Son, 1JN. 2:22. Maintaining that he is acting out of the members’ best interests, the leader sheds his humility and assumes complete control over any important decisions by both the group collectively and those of individual members. Rather than imploring the Almighty for guidance, the pharaonic leader lords over the congregation as a despot, dictating his preferences, 1PE. 5:1-7. Anyone who dares disagree with the leader risks being vilified, slandered, and ridiculed, either overtly or indirectly, publicly or privately.
8. ‘Us vs. them’ mentality. Loyalty to the leader often becomes the central issue in spiritually abusive, cultish churches. Consequently, the leaders’ sermons and writings may obsess with perceived attacks against him, claiming that Satan is trying his hardest to overthrow the ministry. Fostering an ‘us vs. them’ mentality may lead to a siege mindset, where the leaders’ mind-controlled followers feel they are under constant daily attack and rely on him for making day-to-day decisions affecting their personal lives. This type of paranoid, delusional thinking can give Satan occasion to create divisions through accusations and aspersions, 1CO. 1:10.
9. Church of the inquisition. A spiritually abusive leader’s power base is on the unquestioning, unwavering loyalty of his followers. Consequently, anyone who questions his authority is perceived as a threat. Thus, messages are often preached on the evils of rebellion and on total obedience to authority. Resentment is engendered against those who ask too many questions. At some point, anyone thought to be disloyal may find himself angrily confronted with accusations and demands for public repentance or face excommunication. Essentially, those who ask too many questions are told in so many words to ‘shut up or leave.’ Nevertheless, the Bible shows that Nicodemus asked the Messiah questions about his mission and the Bereans confirmed Paul’s preaching in the Scriptures. Biblically, one is expected to ‘put the prophet to the test’ and remain vigilant against deceivers and deceptions, JER. 17:5, 2TI. 3:13-17. Questions are an important tool to arrive at the truth. By his way of answering questions, the Messiah revealed Himself to be a true prophet, sent from heaven.
10. 'Ministering backlashings and browbeatings. One way that leaders of spiritually abusive groups immunize themselves from criticism is by backlashing any members who would dare question their authority. They use the pulpit to browbeat and chastise those perceived as their opposition, pointing fingers and raising a high hand, and twisting Scriptures to consolidate their own power at the expense of others’ humiliation, 1TI. 3:1-3, 2TI. 2:24-26, TTS. 3:1-3. In this sense, they are like the pharaohs, often depicted with a crook in one hand to signify their role as chief shepherd over the people and whip in the other hand to denote their authoritarian governance and rulership over the slaves. In some cases, the abusive leader leaves the browbeatings and backlashings to his trusted assistants (henchmen) to preserve his own popularity among the members.
11. Plagued by profound paranoia. A common hallmark of a spiritually abusive groups and destructive religious cults is the profound paranoia of its leaders, who secretly fear that they will be exposed in the light of truth. This paranoia may manifest itself as a constant fear of an uprising against the group’s administration. Such an occurrence may be likened to the Korah rebellion in NUM. 16. Excessive emphasis may be put on being watchful for the wolves entering into the fold -- suggesting that false prophets are supposedly rising up among the members and spreading dissension against the administration. However, these self-righteous Pharisees never tolerate the thought that they actually are the wolves who are preying upon the flock, EZK. 34:1-10. This fearfulness and paranoia is most unseemly and out of character for any group flourishing in the Holy Spirit. Those well grounded in Scriptural truth have no reason to be in constant fear, 1JN. 4:18-21.
12. Spies like flies. Those who speak out against the statements or actions of the authoritarian leader, his trusted assistants (henchmen), or his family members may be likened to "Agents of the Devil." Also, those outside this exclusive clique can expect to be under constant suspicion and even ‘guilty until proved innocent.’ Members of cultish churches are encouraged to spy on or avoid those members who are under the leader’s suspicion. The spies sent forth by Moses in NUM. 13 were sent to spy out the land and its inhabitants NOT to spy within the camp and report on fellow brethren. In the Messiah’s lifetime, the Pharisees and religious authorities often sent spies to find something with which to accuse Him, LUKE 20:20. The group’s in-house intelligence network may be such that it seems like spies are buzzing around everywhere in the organization, quick to report everything, even casting a negative slant on perfectly innocent situations. As a result, members do not know whom to trust, and the group becomes divided against itself, MAT. 12:25; MARK 3:26; LUKE 11:17.
13. Super secretive. Among the obvious double standards in a spiritually abusive group is its handling of sin among members. When the sins of the general congregation come to light, there most assuredly will be outrage and righteous indignation from the pulpit, followed by browbeatings and disparagements against the members. Meanwhile, members' private situations that should be kept confidential are circulated and discussed openly. But if the incidents involve the leaders’ families, those of the office staff, and others in the ‘protected’ inner core, these situations are handled quietly and discreetly, often without the knowledge of the general congregation. The office staff and those in the inner core are expected to keep certain personal, administrative, and financial matters secret from the rest of the members, mainly to protect their leaders’ reputations and preserve the myth of the organization’s infallibility -- the lie that it alone is "the one true religious organization," PRV. 24:23; JAS. 2:8-9; 2TH. 2:11.
14. Henchmen do the dirty work. One of a spiritually abusive leader’s worst fears is that members of his congregation will simply walk out of the congregation, taking their future tithes and offerings with them, if he pushes them too far. Thus, henchmen are used to deliver browbeatings and administer church discipline while outwardly the leader appears unconnected to their actions. Meanwhile, the leader can maintain his ‘righteous’ appearance and continue to control his followers’ loyalty. Some abusive leaders are adept at playing the game of "good cop/bad cop." They use their thoroughly programmed, unquestioningly loyal assistants (henchmen) -- the modern-day taskmasters -- to preach the condemnatory messages while they seemingly remain kind, caring, and full of love for each member. In reality, though, it is the leader who has put his own words into the mouth of his assistants and orchestrated this ministration of lashings to the perceived dissidents in the congregation. And, of course, after the service has ended, the abusive head Pharisee will be there to greet the wounded congregants at the door, smirking in their faces and wishing them back next week for more of the same. See MAT. 21:45-46; LUKE 22:2.
15. Facade of righteousness. To maintain others’ unswerving loyalty, abusive leaders love to appear ‘more righteous’ than their followers, thus providing them with a shining example of someone whose faith they ought to imitate. They deceive their followers by appearing overly strict and rigid in such matters as how they look, what they eat, what they read, what they watch on television, and what they do for leisure. They wish to give the appearance of being totally pure and unblemished. In private, however, it is often another story. By striving to live after appearances, they may become unbalanced and slip into oppressive, Pharisaic judgmentalism, condescendingly looking down on others while exalting themselves, MAT. 23:1-12, 27-33; ROM. 12:3, 16; TTS. 1:16.
16. Hypocrisy and double standards. One of the most easily recognizable indications of a spiritually abusive group is the double standards and hypocrisy by which its leaders operate, ROM. 2:1-3. But when the group’s rules or policies inconvenience the group’s leader or his family, exceptions are allowed. Much like the crooked, self-righteous Pharisees of the Messiah’s lifetime, these spiritually abusive leaders believe themselves to be above the law, MAT. 23:1-4. Among the instances where double standards most often appear is in church discipline, such as in its misapplication of suspensions, shunning, and excommunications. They also may feel entitled to a lavish lifestyle at others’ expense, even while some impoverished members of the church are living in dire need, 1JN. 3:17.
17. Revivals or reversals? Over time, members of abusive religious groups may notice a reversal of certain policies, possibly without announcement or explanation. These reversals in policy likely mainly benefit the leader, his family, or those within the protected inner core. The general congregation is expected to comply without question. Yet, if the organization claims to be "the one true group," then how can the truth change? See PRV. 24:21-22; MAL. 3:6; 1CO. 14:33. These double standards deteriorate the believers’ faith and spirituality, leaving only a shell of legalism and leader worship. A spiritual re-awakening is necessary to revive them from the stupor or strong delusion into which they have fallen, 2TH. 2:11.
18. Definite defensiveness. Abusive, authoritarian leaders crave unquestioning obedience. If questioned or challenged, they may claim to minister under the same authority as conferred upon Moses. Any disagreement with their position may be likened to the rebellions of Korah, NUM. 16, or of Jannes and Jambres, 2TI. 3:8. The leader may become extremely defensive and resort to accusing those who oppose him of rising up against the Almighty’s selected anointed one, 1CH. 16:22. He may even accuse them with being "Agents of the Adversary." In such instances, the believer must resolve to remain steadfast in the Word and humbly defend himself with the sword of the Scriptures to defeat this pernicious, self-righteous spirit of adversity, EPH. 6:10-20, 2TI. 3:13-17, HEB. 4:12.
19. Rush to judgmentalism. Viewing themselves as Almighty YHWH’s personally appointed judges over the people, spiritually abusive leaders may not be able to resist the temptation to meddle in matters that are strictly the members’ business and not their own. Exercising control where none is needed, they make condemnations from the pulpit, PRV. 26:17. Sadly, these leaders are only to quick to use the ‘bully pulpit’ to promulgate their own personal opinions, prejudices, and preferences over those of the members and further adding to the group’s already long list of policy prohibitions, PSA. 72:1-4, JOHN 7:24. It is no wonder that many members secretly feel oppressed and overburdened, not realizing that membership in a cultish group only drives them deeper into depression and despair.
20. Breaking the opposition through "breaking sessions." As abusive leaders feel threatened, they retaliate by ordering a conference room session ostensibly to resolve the outstanding issues. Among authors who have written on spiritual abuse, these backroom meetings have commonly become known as "breaking sessions." Often they may drag on for hours until the leader is able to impose his will on others and prevail over them in the end. Those in the opposition will likely emerge emotionally exhausted, often in tears, broken in spirit, and feeling downcast, disparaged, and denigrated, as in ISA. 61:1-4. These meetings can turn ugly, with the Bible-thumping leader using Scriptures upon Scriptures to browbeat and belittle. Abusive leaders have been known to stack the room with henchmen, whose unswerving loyalty to the leader can be counted on regardless of what accusations against him may be brought forth. See 1TI. 3:7, 5:17-19.
21. Throwing away others’ talents. Among the abusive charismatic leader’s chief fears is that he will be eclipsed by someone with greater talents, especially in pastoring, preaching, and teaching. Thus, anyone suspected as becoming such a threat may be deliberately stifled in his growth while accused of attempting to take over the organization. Thus, the pyramidal power structure is maintained, with the pharaonic leader on top lording over the enslaved members of the organization, contrary to the Scriptural model of a healthy, vibrant organism living in freedom in the Messiah, 1CO. 12:1-31, EPH. 4:11-15.
22. Shaming and guilt manipulation. A characteristic of many spiritually abusive leaders is their ability to manipulate others by playing on their guilt over sins committed in the distant or not-so-distant past. Members are controlled by being constantly reminded of past sins, mistakes, and shortcomings. While the authoritarian leader is quick to condemn others, he is loath to discuss his own failings or those of his family. Instead, he projects himself as a pristine example of righteous living -- as in the Parable of the Pharisee and the Publican, LUKE 18:9-14. Over time, his hypocrisy and hatred for others will be self-evident to the discerning. Eventually, these abuse victims can be expected to rise up and leave the church behind once they have finally had enough.
23. ‘Thou shalt hate thy neighbor.’ To ensure support against his perceived enemies, abusive leaders will instill hatred in their followers against fellow believers – especially former members, many of whom may have left after being grossly mistreated. In so doing, these cultish leaders effectively deny the Faith, teaching a hate-based fallacy instead. Scriptures are twisted to grant permission to be spiteful and nasty toward those who are no longer loyal, subordinate, tithe-paying "sheeple." Nevertheless, the Bible teaches that those who are without love for their fellow believer are actually without love for the Almighty, LEV. 19:17; JOHN 13:34-35; 1JN. 3:13, 23-24, 4:16-21. Sadly, these servants of Satan use emotional arguments loosely based on Scripture to blind believers and lead them astray from the Messiah’s sound teachings, as we of these latter times are warned against in 1JN. 4:1-13; 2 JN. 4-11; 3JN. 9-11; JUDE 3-4, 12-13. While knowing that brotherly hatred is not the way Yah’shua the Messiah taught us to live, some still allow abusive leaders to push them into this type of spiritual mire, which the leaders shamefully pervert as being ‘truth,’ 2PE. 2:20-22. Eventually, discerning members will see the light for themselves.
24. Constantly at enmity. By their aberrant behaviors, abusive leaders of cultish churches inevitably leave a trail of wounded behind them. Former members often become viewed as perpetual enemies. Many may have left because they were wronged, mistreated, manipulated, lied to, or witnessed hypocrisy up front and chose to speak out rather than keep silent. In so doing, they risked vilification and shunning from fellow members. Some who simply may have been trying to correct organizational problems may have suddenly found themselves expelled from membership. While it is true that the Messiah and the Apostles, as well as others in the Bible, often found themselves opposed by adversaries, abusive leaders have a way of creating enemies unnecessarily, ROM. 14:16-19; 1CO. 7:15; HEB. 12:14-15. Abusive leaders essentially need enemies in order to maintain the siege mentality within their congregations. By suggesting that the Devil is constantly on the attack, the leader maintains control while ensuring that the members remain dependent on him for defense and sustenance.
25. Silencing through shunning. Anyone who has spoken out against hypocrisy or mistreatment by a Pharisaic leader may likely find himself branded as a troublemaker and hence removed from membership. Such a person might then be strictly shunned and counted as an apostate -- essentially portrayed as one destined for eternal damnation. This heavy-handed practice effectively intimidates and silences any future would-be critics. No return is permitted until he renounces his criticisms and confesses his purported sins before the congregation. Terms of membership restoration may then be dictated to him, which may also include a probation period in which he would be monitored closely to determine whether he says or does any semblance of anything critical against any of the church leaders again. By allowing his silenced critics to return, the abusive leader appears magnanimous and forgiving while in actuality he is extremely controlling. See EPH. 4:25-32.
26. Self-pity and self-victimization. When abusive leaders’ lies and hypocrisy are exposed, they may defend themselves by playing on the members’ sympathies, often making themselves out to be victims of Satan’s relentless attacks and others’ hatred of them supposedly for their own ‘righteousness,’ PRV. 26:25-26; 2CO. 4:5-6. More likely, though, is that the opposition these leaders have received comes from people’s natural adverse reaction to the leaders’ abusiveness. It seems some people can only witness or absorb so much mistreatment before responding in kind, EXD. 2:11-12.
27. Pride and lack of humility. Abusive, leavened leaders become arrogant and self-serving as they consolidate their control over their followers. If there is any appearance of humility left in them, it is nothing more than a performance intended to disguise their true nature: puffed up with Pharisaic pride and self-righteousness, JER. 44:10; MIC. 6:8; MAT. 20:26, 23:12; GAL. 6:3. As Satan comes as an angel of light, so too do his ministers, who inwardly are full of filth and corruption, 2CO. 11:14-15, MAT. 23:27-28.
28. Just preachy! Not surprisingly, many spiritually abusive ministers just love to preach, especially when it allows them the opportunity to tongue-lash and browbeat others from the pulpit. Foreign to them would be the role of gentle teacher, who humbly opens the Word to instruct and edify, as did our beloved Rabbi, Yah’shua HaMashiach, MAT. 23:8. Instead, these ministers will get "Rev-ved up" when they preach. They may approach the pulpit with a high look and quickly shed any semblance of humility as they launch their vituperative attacks. They may use the occasion of worshipping the Almighty to take center stage and drone on with long, boring sermons to a ‘captive’ audience that allow them to speak ad nauseum on whatever is on their minds at the moment, PSA. 52:2-4, 59:12, 140:3; PRV. 10:11, 10:31-32, 13:3; 1TI.3:2-10; 2TI. 2:15, 2:24-26. Their obsessive love of preaching often is also reflected in their writings, where the wording excessively shifts to bold, underlined, and capitalized letters or combinations of each, followed by the exaggerated use of exclamation points. Paragraph after paragraph, page after page, it seems the text is constantly shouting at you! So, even on paper, their abusiveness continues incessantly.
29. Possessing extraordinary abilities and Biblical knowledge. Sadly, many of those who fall victim to spiritually abusive groups become enamored with an unusually gifted leader, seemingly blessed with abilities and knowledge that far surpass that of other religious leaders. The charismatic leader may be viewed as a prophet or spokesman for the Almighty. As long as he is able to mesmerize his followers, they will remain captives to his abuse -- and separated from the spiritual freedom the Almighty wishes for us, 1CO. 13:1-2; 2PE. 2:19; GAL. 5:13-15.
30. Twisting of Scriptures. The abusive religious leader often knows that the source of his power is his command of Scriptural knowledge. As hypocrisy and double standards appear, he may resort to skillfully twisting the Scriptures to defend himself from attack. Of course, twisting the Scriptures is nothing new. Even in the Apostles’ time, their writings were twisted by those ignorant of the way of truth, 2PE. 3:14-17.
31. False prophecies and predictions. If one wishes to be thought of as a prophet, he must bear the burden under which a prophet lives, DEU. 13:1-6, 18:20-22. So, when it turns out that a cultish leader, who allows and even encourages his followers to exalt him as a prophet, prophesies falsely and makes faulty predictions, people are commanded to disregard him, DEU. 18:22; 1KG. 13. Too often, the erroneous teachings and prognostications of false prophets have brought devastation upon their followers. When their prophecies fail, these wolves in prophetic wool blame the sheep for their own failures, charging that their prophecies did not come about because the people were not ready yet or still had pride in their lives. Eventually, though, justice shall prevail. As the corrupted prophet Balaam died in battle against the very people whom YHWH intended him to bless, NUM. 22:39, 23:11-12; 23:26, 31:8, so too will these false prophets pay dearly for their lies and falsehoods, MAT. 12:37, 18:6, 25:30; 2PE. 2:15-20; JUDE 11. Pray that they will repent of their misdeeds before it is too late for them.
32. A ‘profitic’ rather than prophetic ministry. Like Balaam, NUM. 22-25, 31: 8, 16, these prophets for hire care only for their own comfort and well-being. Over time, they come to look at their congregations as secure sources of income, as flocks to be fleeced and feasted upon, EZK. 34:1-10. Instead of tending to the congregation’s spiritual needs, the main focus becomes maintaining certain financial levels that afford them a high level of comfort and convenience at the members’ expense. As a result, the preaching is tailored according to the group’s financial needs, ROM. 16:18; 1PE. 5:2. There likely will be frequent appeals for greater giving. Special projects may be announced to momentarily capture the members’ zeal. Money-loving Pharisaic leaders delight in urging their churches to give generously so that the Great Commission may finally be completed or that the restoration of all things ultimately will be accomplished. Meanwhile, there is almost no accountability, just misguided trust, as to where the money goes.
33. Shady finances. Abusive leaders feel their word should suffice as to how their group’s income is spent. Thus, its written, fully itemized record of finances is kept in the dark, hidden away from the members’ access, away from receiving the light of scrutiny. There are no published financial statements, no auditing of accounting records by a reputable independent auditor. The bookkeeping is likely done by someone closely connected with the leader, such as a family member or a lifelong friend. In so doing, the appearance of evil is given, 1TH. 5:22. Nevertheless, the Scriptures clearly teach stewardship and accountability, but certain church leaders seem to feel that they are exempted. Instead, they believe they have a mandate from their congregations to do as they see best while remaining answerable to nobody. In time, the Master will return and will hold them accountable, as in the Parable of the Talents, MAT. 25:14-30; also 1CO. 11:14-15.
34. ‘Sanctified’ for personal use. As self-proclaimed servants of the Most High, spiritually abusive leaders and their willing assistants may often feel entitled to use church property as if it were their very own, rather than setting that property apart as holy unto Almighty YHWH, LEV. 10:10; 1TI. 5:21. So, if they damage or misuse that property, it may be conveniently overlooked and forgotten about. But, on the other hand, if the same happened to the average church member -- who helped pay for that item of property with his tithes, offerings, and contributions -- he likely would be compelled to make restitution and may even be prohibited from using church property again. These types of double standards are typical in abusive churches, where the members are held in bondage to the hierarchy, who often look down upon their brethren with disdain. See DEU. 25:13-16; LEV. 19:17; MAT. 22:37-40; 1JN. 4:20-21.
35. ‘Entitled’ to a comfortable life. In time, as contributions increase, the lording leaders of spiritually abusive groups feel entitled to elevate their salaries to a filthy ‘lucre-ative’ level. While some members are struggling to make ends meet and living in poverty, the blind guides feel entitled to live in comfort, even in self-indulgent luxury, TTS 1:7, 11. Attempting to camouflage their affluence, they may cover up the situation by deliberately give a misleading impression, pretending to be poor. Nevertheless, the one who is discerning will be able to see for himself who is lavishly living "high on the hog" while the needs of those who truly are in need go neglected. See DEU. 15:7-11; MAT. 23:14; 1TI. 3:3, 6:9-10; ROM 12:9-13; 1JN. 3:17.
36. Dishonorable reputation. Over time, stories about a cultish group's abusive behaviors, especially those of its self-exalted leader, circulate in the community and among other churches. To ascertain whether a reputation is rightfully deserved or falsely fabricated, one must make diligent inquiry. If one wishes to find out the truth about a group's history, often the best way to do so is to directly ask those who would know from personal experience. As indicated in DEU. 19:15-19, one should query the witnesses and establish why they believe the group mistreated them. If it can be established that the witness’ testimony is truthful, sincere, and unbiased, and it is confirmed by other witnesses’ accounts, and it corresponds with the tell-tale signs of spiritual abuse, one would do well to mark that group’s leader and his followers as departed from the way of truth and avoid them, 2TH 3:6-7; 2TI 3:1-7.
37. ‘Be ye imitators of me!’ The Apostle Paul urged believers to be imitators of him, even as he sought to be like Messiah Yah’shua, 1CO. 1:11. While the Scriptures teach church leaders also to be an example, it is expected that the leaders will not lord over their congregations and become controlling, denigrating, and despotic, 1PE. 5:1-3. Sadly, those who seek an abusive leader’s favor, often become imitators of him, even imitating the leader’s abusiveness toward others, and adopting his eccentricities, mannerisms, and characteristics. Thus, the leader's abusiveness and hatefulness becomes contagious -- to the extent that the mistreatment of members may even seem ‘normal.’
38. Unfit to lead. When compared with the standards set forth in the Scriptures, such as in 1TI. 3, some ministers simply do not measure up. Some do not even rule well in their own homes and have children in rebellion. Some are more concerned with showing off their knowledge of Scriptures or with showing off their preaching abilities. Whether they were truly ordained by the Almighty into His service is questionable. Some lack humility whereas satisfying their own selfish pride seems to be their main concern. In any event, such a leader is unable to provide a sound example of what it is to be a true disciple of the Messiah. Thus, by the authority of the Scriptures, that leader is unqualified to serve in his position – and may even be unqualified to be a member in good standing. He should humble himself before the Almighty by offering to step down and allow someone else to lead who is both Scripturally qualified and abundantly demonstrates that the fruits of the Holy Spirit are manifest in his life, GAL. 5:22-25.
39. Dramatic turnovers. Eventually, the congregation will see its pastor for who he is: someone not called by the Almighty to be their shepherd. As his deficiencies become more readily apparent, more members will be only too ready and willing to leave when the right opportunity arises. As history has a way of repeating itself, an abusive group likely has a history of dramatic turnovers, where several members departed over a contention with the leader. See ECC. 1:9-10. Such incidents may be referred to under such euphemisms as "an organizational problem" or "a changing of the guard." Whatever such turnovers may be called, they are indications that something went awry and could happen again. One needs more information about any dramatic turnovers, especially from those who were there at the time, to determine whether the group is safe or dangerous, balanced or cultish, loving or hateful, caring or abusive, 1TH. 5:19-22.
40. Organizational historical revisionism. Realizing that mistakes were made in the past, the abusive leader of the cultish church may seek to do a cover-up by rewriting the group's history in such a way that absolves him from any guilt, 1JN. 4:1. Such a historical recollection is untrustworthy since it is essentially the whitewashed version of how the leader wishes to be remembered by others, MAT. 23:27-28. If one wishes to know the truth of the matter, one must discover it personally from those who were there and remember how events occurred.
41. Whitewashed sepulchers. Abusive, Pharisaic leaders strive to appear outwardly righteous, but inwardly they are full of evil and corruption, MAT. 23:25-34. They may wear clothing that makes them appear devout, pious, or humble. They delight in heaping lofty titles upon themselves and love to hear those titles roll off the lips of their followers in praise and exaltation. In worship services and fellowship meals, they may reserve for themselves the chief seats to give the impression that they are foremost in importance. They stress matters of minutiae while neglecting the weightier matters of Biblical Law, MAT. 23:5-12, 23-24. A propensity to prevaricate repeatedly is a sure sign that these actually are the servants of Satan, the Father of Lies, ISA. 32:7; JOHN 8:44; 1TI. 4:2; REV. 21:8. Once they have been caught spinning their web of deceits, they can never be trusted again. Henceforth, it might be best, so to say, to avoid them ‘religiously,’ 2TH. 3:1-7.
42. Lack of spiritual fruits. Lying, slandering, and being downright hateful are often the rotten fruits produced by spiritually abusive ministers as they work behind the scenes to control and manipulate their followers, rather than showing genuine love and serving their spiritual needs, GAL. 3:13-15. While these cold-hearted Pharisees may pretend to exercise great spiritual qualities, the truth of the matter can be completely opposite, MAT. 7:16; 23:28; JAS. 3:17. Often, this discovery of their leaders’ hypocrisies and hatefulness can be the trigger that fires people’s determination to finally leave and seek out the spiritual freedom in which we were intended to live. They can no longer tolerate being in bondage to any man who would be as a pharaoh over them. Using GAL. 5:16-25 as a guide, they have seen for themselves that their leaders live according to the ‘works of the flesh’ rather than the ‘fruit of the Spirit’ -- "love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, self-control." If it seems the leader lacks in these qualities, it is evident that he does not walk by the Holy Spirit. Thus, one must question whether he is even qualified to serve in his position.
43. ‘Love-bombing’ into submission. Feigning love is one way in which cultish churches recruit new members. Prospective new members may be overwhelmed, or ‘bombed,’ with an effusive love until they cannot help but surrender to this exciting euphoria by joining the congregation. Thus, as they settle in, they may quickly notice that the love, which was only superficial, has grown cold, EPH. 4:14-16, 4:25; 1PE. 1:22. Subsequently, they find that they no longer feel as welcomed or valued as they did earlier. As time goes on, their zeal wanes as it seems that only their financial contributions receive some measure of appreciation -- but even those never seem to be sufficient enough for the leaders’ demands. Meanwhile, to make matters worse, these downtrodden members find themselves increasingly under attack for having a "negative attitude." Opposite to the situation when they joined, they may even feel like they have become pariahs among their brethren, seemingly unloved and unwanted, among those whom they should feel most appreciated, ROM. 12:9-17.
44. "There’s no love here." Churches that have succumbed to a legalistic, Pharisaic mindset become cold, cultish, condemning places to worship. Worship services become so somber that they may begin to resemble funeral services, MAT. 24:12. Almost all joy has ceased, LAM. 5:15-16. Members are made to feel terribly guilty for the smallest infractions of church policy. They are routinely berated for not measuring up. Eventually, some members become so distraught that they abruptly leave, charging that there’s not enough love in the organization, 1CO. 13:2; JOHN 13:34-35; 1JN. 4:11, 19-21. Nothing more may ever be heard from these former members as they move on from a very painful experience with spiritual abuse in attempt to regain their love and zeal for the Bible, which had become lost in their lives.
45. For shame! In time, some of the covered-up, shameful sins and misdeeds of the abusive leaders are revealed, EPH. 5:7-18. Typically, those who bring these matters to the surface are reviled. A vituperative counterattack may be launched as a means of intimidating them into silence. Although excuses, rationalizations, and justifications will be offered as part of the damage-control efforts, one must prove all things and establish the truth of the matter, 1TH. 5:21-22. Rarely, though, will these leaders do the right thing by admitting their shortcomings and humbly offering to resign from their positions -- which they are no longer Biblically qualified to hold anyhow, 1TI. 3. The worse shame, though, is that these leaders are so intoxicated with their love of having power over others that they cannot break free from their addiction to it. Thus, their position no longer is about serving others but about serving their own egos.
46. Masters of micro-management. Abusive leaders love to stand in judgment over their followers in all areas of their lives. When they need something with which to criticize somebody, they will pry into that person’s private life and dig up some dirt from the past, MAT. 7:3-4; LUKE 6:41-42. When an abusive leader asks certain followers for help in doing some responsibility, they typically may end up being criticized later for not doing it as well as the leader would have done it. Hence, it seems only the leader understands true righteousness. When people are micro-managed, usually nothing they do is ever good enough. As a result, the followers’ self-confidence may be deliberately shattered as a means of control and manipulation through guilt. Under the crushing weight of guilt, carrying the heavy load of past sins is too burdensome to bear. Nevertheless, our Savior taught us to place our burdens on Him, allowing us to escape from this hopeless condition, MAT. 11:28-30; ISA. 61:1-3; GAL. 5:1.
47. Lethally legalistic. Too often, Christians mistakenly believe that Yah’shua the Messiah opposed the Pharisees of his time because they were keepers of the Biblical commandments. Whereas there was a zeal for Torah observance, many of the Pharisees he encountered were more concerned about correctly keeping of their man-made commandments and traditions, many of which were at variance with the Law of YHWH, MAT. 15:1-9; MARK 7:9; COL. 2:8. So too, today’s spiritually abusive leaders become obsessed with their own burdensome Scriptural interpretations and organizational policies that religion becomes more about legalistic rules and regulations than about loving the Almighty and one’s neighbor. In so doing, these legalistic churches stifle their member’s zeal for all things Biblical. Over time, these members become mind-controlled zombies, dead to the Spirit of the Law, consumed instead by a never-ending battle to live up to their leaders’ impossible standards for perfection -- in which even the leaders are shown to have failed miserably when their own sins are revealed.
48. Under a "strong delusion." A church that has been hijacked by an abusive minister and his henchmen and turned into a cult typically asserts that it alone is the one true religious organization. They teach that there is no salvation outside of their cult. All believers outside of that church are looked upon as infidels. This strong delusion that they alone are ‘the Truth’ gives the leader to act as a virtual dictator, deciding for himself what is right and wrong and twisting the Scriptures to justify his positions, 2TH. 2:1-12. Members can become so self-assured that they alone have the Truth, that they become blind to what the Bible actually teaches about truth and how ‘true believers’ ought to believe and act toward others, JOHN 13:34-35; 1JN. 5:2-3; REV. 3:17.
49. Icy isolationism. The church that proclaims itself as the one true body of believers segregates itself into an elitist, exclusionary existence. Since all other churches are supposedly destined for condemnation when the Master returns, there is really no point to having fellowship with any other churches, even those similar in doctrine. All others are looked down upon as evil and corrupt, while they exalt themselves, LUKE 18:9-14. They view themselves as the small, select group that alone inherits the coming Kingdom while all others burn in the lake of fire.
50. More dictatorial than didactic. Over time, these pharaonic, abusive leaders of cultish churches tailor their teachings to reinforce the members’ submission to them, rather than to Almighty YHWH, our King Eternal. Teachings that would spiritually edify and uplift the members from the rigors of this world’s system of spiritual bondage are downplayed in favor of teachings about pyramidal church government, stringent tithing, giving above and beyond one’s ability, and honoring one’s elders. Freedom from sin in the Messiah’s atoning sacrifice is a theme that cult leaders silently despise. Rather, they wish for their despairing followers to feel overwhelmed by the burden of sin and guilt, only to reach out in desperation to the cult leader for deliverance. Only by doing exactly what he says -- allowing him to dictate what they are to believe and how they are to live -- can they have any hope of salvation. In so doing, these masters of spiritual enslavement have molded themselves into the persona of the pagan Canaanite storm god Ba’al -- whose name in Hebrew simply denotes "lord" or "master." Making themselves lords over the people, these self-exalting dictators may go as far as to demand to be worshipped as if they themselves were gods -- and in effect divert worship away from the Most High to themselves, 1KG. 18:21; 1PE. 5:2-6. This correlates to what the prophet Daniel described as "the abomination that makes desolate," DAN. 8:13, 9:27, 12:11. This phrase describes the obnoxious, idolatrous act that is so repugnant to the Almighty that it provokes His wrath upon those who would exalt themselves over Him. Woe unto him that treads upon such dangerous ground!
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"Let My People Go!"
A message to those still in bondage to abusive churches
This document was written especially to help those who feel they have become captive to spiritually abusive churches. From extensive studies into the subject, the author observed that spiritual abuse is much like emotional abuse and authority abuse. Certain common patterns emerge. One person’s experience tends to be similar in many respects to that of others.
Often where the experiences differ is in the extent of abuse suffered. In some cases after leaving, the victims simply shrug off the experience and move on with their lives. For others, psychological scars will remain following their traumatic experience with a church gone cultish. However, these scars can be healed through prayer, forgiveness, and meditation on the Scriptures. Perhaps from the abuse believers suffer, they will become even stronger in faith, serving the Almighty with greater determination, and showing more affection and magnanimity toward others, HEB. 12:6-8; 2TI. 4:5-8; 2TH. 1:4-12; ACTS 5:41-42; PSA. 9:13.
This material is based on more than 20 years of encounters with cultish behaviors in certain non-mainstream religious Bible-based groups, along with considerable research of the phenomena and hearing numerous spiritual abuse victims’ testimonies – many remarkably similar to the author’s own experiences. Perhaps these 50 points may help some in similar situations avoid the same type of devastation the author endured after his time spent with spiritually abusive organizations. Sadly, he has repeatedly seen where authority without accountability only leads to spiritual abuse and cultish activity.
The 50 Tell-Tale Signs of a Spiritually Abusive Church is by no means a comprehensive list of spiritual abuse indicators. There could be many more tell-tale signs that are not listed that are just as indicative of abusive and cultish behavior. Of these 50 points, some of them overlap while others barely scratch the surface of a much deeper problem. It is hoped that they provide a list of warning signs, of behaviors to watch out for, lest your church is overtaken.
It should be noted that these points apply only to Bible-based churches and ministries. New Age, Eastern, and esoteric religious systems may have some different tell-tale signs since their teachings are not rooted in Biblical concepts. Nevertheless, it seems there are certain characteristics common to all cults, whether Biblically based or not. These 50 points do not specifically target any particular church, ministry, or religious group. Actually, many of the points seem to correspond with issues relating to several of the ministries that were reviewed.
If after reading through this list, you find that many of the points could easily pertain to your church or group, you may wish to take a hard, critical look at the organization to determine whether it is going in the wrong direction. If you conclude that it is, why would you wish to continue as a member? Of course, if you have family members, jobs, debts, investments, property, and other tangibles tied up with your membership in that church, voluntarily leaving will not be easy. If that is the case, you may need to do some serious soul searching to determine the course of action you wish to take.
Remember, if you do nothing, the abuse will probably worsen, affecting potentially many others too. Read up on cults and their spiritually abusive techniques and pray daily that the Almighty will give you the wisdom and discernment to determine the best course of action.
Keep in mind that cultish groups generally thrive on financial contributions. Without them, they literally would be put out of business. In this sense, money talks. The possibility of losing a significant amount of income might just get the leaders’ attention, especially if it seemed that several families were to leave the group at the same time. Consider putting your intended tithes and offerings into escrow until you have met with the leaders and your concerns are satisfactorily addressed and fully resolved. If you confront your abusers, correct them with love and gentleness, using the authority of the Scriptures to present your position. Also, it would be best to take two or three witnesses with you, as in 1TI. 5:19.
Make no mistake about it, spiritually abusive leaders will be required in the end to give an account of their misdeeds, MAT. 18:6; MARK 9:42; LUKE 17:2. Until then, you can help them and yourself by praying regularly that they would see the errors of their ways and repent before it is too late. And, as hard as it may seem, you must be willing to forgive them for the abuses they perpetrated against you. Through forgiveness, you will be able to release your pain and the heartache you feel. Forgiveness is a tool that helps removes obstacles before us. In time, your healing will be complete. You will be ready to move on with your life, ready to serve the Almighty with newly found strength and resolve.
Much has been written about the spiritual abuse phenomena since the 1990s. Before then, it seemed like only a few authors had addressed the subject. With the wealth of information now available, you would benefit greatly to find and read articles and books that correspond closely to your experience. A bibliography of informative, useful books on the subject will appear later on this site for your reference. Of the many books perused so far, two in particular stand out as among the best on the subject and deserve a hearty recommendation here:
• The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: Recognizing and Escaping Spiritual Manipulation and False Spiritual Authority within the Church by David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen (Minneapolis: Bethany House Publishers, 1991) 235 pages.
• Take Back Your Life: Recovering from Cults and Abusive Relationships by Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias (Berkeley, CA: Bay Tree Publishing, 2006) 372 pages.
Defining spiritual abuse both fully and succinctly has proved problematic for many of the experts in the field. Authors Johnson and VanVonderen define spiritual abuse as follows: "...the mistreatment of a person who is in need of help, support, or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining, or decreasing that person's spiritual empowerment."
Spiritual abuse is hardly anything new. It happened in Biblical times, and it certainly continues in these times, often going unchecked until too late. Essentially, spiritual abuse in Bible-based churches is about those in positions of religious authority misusing the Scriptures to deliberately deceive or mistreat their followers, resulting in those believers' loss of spiritual determination, creativity, zeal, and, tragically, even their faith in some instances. Any church that becomes pathologically spiritually abusive has made itself into a dangerous cult by its own destructive behaviors.
Meanwhile, the latter book advances the following definition of a cult, authored at a 1985 conference by the International Cultic Studies Association, formerly the American Family Foundation:
"A cult is a group or movement exhibiting great or excessive devotion or dedication to some person, idea, or thing, and employing unethical manipulative or coercive techniques of persuasion and control (e.g., isolation from former friends and family, debilitation, use of special methods to heighten suggestibility and subservience, powerful group pressures, information management, suspension of individuality or critical judgment, promotion of total dependency on the group and fear of leaving it), designed to advance the goals of the group’s leaders, to the actual or possible detriment of members, their families, or the community."
While this may seem like quite a mouthful, essentially this definition establishes that cults are determined strictly by their behaviors, not by their doctrines, their nonconformance with society, or their zeal for proselytization. While such definitions are quite useful for scholars and academics, it is another matter for the lay person who prefers a more common sense approach, as in defining what constitutes enjoyable music or tasty food. For such persons, a cult is essentially what people perceive it to be without relying on complicated definitions. As with the popular saying, "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck..." And so it is with defining cults and determining cultishness.
Even though the general public may struggle with precisely defining in words what is cultish, essentially they know it when they see it. Cults typically embrace abusive behaviors while demonstrating an extraordinary level of devotion to their charismatic leaders and their ideals. Churches that systematically engage in spiritual abuse probably qualify as cults. Therefore, if those churches would be willing to repent of and renounce their abusive behaviors, they might continue to exist without the stigma of being labeled as cults. For any church to progress truly in accordance with the Scriptures, all cultish tendencies must be permanently eradicated. Thus, it is in theirs and everyone’s interest to abolish all spiritual abuse and work toward implementing safeguards to protect against any recurrence of cultish, abusive behaviors within the church.
Once abusiveness and cultishness have been thoroughly renounced, it is the obligation of these organizations to seek out those individuals whom they harmed in times past and attempt to undo the damage done to them. Those groups should pray regularly for those persons and ask them for their forgiveness. After repenting of their past misdeeds, they should strongly disavow all abusive and cultish practices, and welcome them to rejoin them in fellowship. As with Jewish Holocaust survivors, who are accorded great respect among Christians who realize that the churches did not do nearly enough to help them in their time of need, so too ought all Bible-believing churches lovingly embrace all spiritual abuse victims.
With each Passover season, special emphasis should be placed on the importance of the elimination of leaven. Leaven symbolizes arrogance, self-exaltation, falsehood, and hypocrisy: the very ingredients that produce instances of spiritual abuse and hatred toward one’s neighbor. Matzah, or unleavened bread, symbolizes enduring humility and selflessness, as exemplified by our Master, Yah’shua the Messiah. Following Passover are the seven days of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, or in Hebrew: Chag HaMatzah, LEV. 23:1-14. See also ACTS 20:6; 1CO.5:7-8. This is an excellent time to reflect on the evils of spiritual abusive behaviors and the need for greater humility in the Body of the Messiah, the called-out Messianic believers who live according to the straight and narrow way He taught us. The way of Messiah is contrary to the Pharisees’ tendency toward hypocrisy, oppressiveness, self-righteousness, and self-exaltation – essentially, their spiritual abusiveness, MAT. 23:1-12.
Likewise, the next Biblical festival, Pentecost, or Shavuoth in Hebrew, celebrates the dual giving of the Torah law at Mt. Sinai following the exodus from Egypt and the giving of the Holy Spirit in Jerusalem unto the Apostles following the Messiah’s ascension. Many Christians seem unaware that the commandment to love one’s neighbor was established in the Torah, in LEV. 19:17-18. We are also commanded here not to hate our brethren or bear grudges. With the fruits of the Holy Spirit and observance of the Almighty YHWH’s commandments, as given in the Torah, one should be inclined to treat others affectionately and with dignity and honor. Thus, Pentecost, which literally means "50 count," LEV. 23:15-22, also is a Biblical celebration of the freedom given unto us and has special symbolic significance in countering spiritual abuse.
Finally, the fall high holy days, LEV. 23:23-44, also convey an annual emphasis on eliminating spiritual abuse. The Day of Blowing of Trumpets, or Yom Teruah, also known as Rosh Hashana, commemorates the heralding of the Messianic Age, when the Torah shall go forth worldwide as the law of the land. Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement, the most solemn day in the Biblical calendar, recalls the importance of a blood sacrifice for our sins. Yah’shua the Messiah died to set us free from sin. How then can we go back to a life of bondage, as occurs under a spiritually abusive system, when we have been set at liberty? During the seven days of Sukkoth, the Feast of Tabernacles and the adjoining eighth day, Shemini Atzereth, believers live together in harmony, representing the peace that will come to this earth during the millennial Messianic Kingdom age.
Indeed, all of the holy festivals are about freedom and drawing closer to our Heavenly Father in holiness. Spiritual abuse is antithetical to the theme of each feast. Overall, it is in opposition to the salvation message of the Scriptures, which teaches us to place our faith in the Messiah’s atoning sacrifice, not in anything man has done. As Yah’shua said, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, but by me."
"And you shall...proclaim liberty throughout the land to all the inhabitants of it: it shall be a jubilee unto you," Leviticus 25:10
Why 50 tell-tale signs? The number 50 was specifically chosen because Biblically it represents the number of freedom, achieved through the intensification of grace and maturation of spiritual perfection. The 50th year is the Scriptural year of Jubilee, LEV. 25:8-17. In Biblical times, it was the time when an economic correction would occur: slaves would go free, people would return to their family lands that they had lost, and the land would be given a double year of rest.
Through these 50 tell-tale signs, it is hoped that those who are in spiritual bondage, would realize that they have been called to liberty, ROM. 8:21; 2CO. 3:17; GAL. 5:1. If we have been set free from bondage, why then do we, like the ancient Israelites coming out of Egypt, wish to return to enslavement? Likewise, we who come out of mainstream churches, dead in faith, go on to join abusive churches, whose leaders attempt to beat us down with Pharisaic legalism and quench the Holy Spirit within us, ACTS 7:51-53?
"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free," JOHN 8:32. If we follow after truth, we naturally seek to be free. Messiah Yah’shua proclaimed liberty to the captives of spiritual bondage, LUKE 4:18, quoting ISA 61:1. Freedom is lived according to the Law of Liberty, i.e. the teachings of the Torah, the Word of YHWH, PSA. 119:45; JAS. 1:25-27, 2:12. In these times, there is a thirst for Biblical knowledge.
Many who leave the traditionally mainline churches seeking greater spiritual enlightenment, find themselves attracted to fringe groups and cultish churches, where it may seem that a greater degree of Biblical truth is taught. In going from one church to another, it seems they have traveled from one extreme to another. Seeking freedom from the trappings of religious ceremonialism and traditionalism, they find themselves brought back into bondage by those who promise liberty but only deliver oppression, 2PE. 2:12-19. Be watchful, be wary, for the Adversary seeks to entice and deceive, even impersonating a "messenger (the primary meaning of angel) of light" in an attempt to overthrow your faith, 2CO. 11:13-15.
Thus, you are urged to use this list of 50 tell-tale signs to discern the truth of the matter. Use these signs to determine whether your church and its leaders are using spiritual abuse as a means to enslave you into spiritual bondage. If it seems that many of the items on this list match what is happening in your church, you need to consider a course of action. Should you stay and help redirect your church back to the good paths that the Almighty has chosen for His people?
Or, if it seems like its leaders will not listen to the words of YHWH, then perhaps it would be best to quietly make your departure, forgiving them as you leave. Do not dwell continually on their past mistreatment and abuse, lest you yourself become embittered, or leavened. Instead, pray fervently and regularly that they would be healed of their pride and humbled before the Most High to be led to reach out in love to those whom they have harmed. Perhaps in time, the pharaonic leader’s heart will no longer be hardened against the truth, and he will repent of his abusiveness. Maybe then you will receive his forthcoming heartfelt apology, and your healing will then be complete.
Who is PariYah? PariYah authored these 50 tell-tale signs as a guide to truthseekers who find themselves mired in a spiritually abusive church or cultish group. As a modern-day watchman, he seeks to sound the alarm against abusive and cultish tendencies that too often go unchecked among unconventional churches and fringe religious groups, especially those that are by nature authoritarian and absolutist.
These 50 points were intended as a message of hope, as found in ISA. 61: "...he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound..." (v. 1). Quoting from this chapter, our Messiah proclaimed this message, LUKE 4:16-30. Of course, Satan and his servants abhor this proclamation of spiritual liberty.
After Yah’shua the Messiah taught this message at the synagogue in Nazareth, the congregation rose up in anger and tried to kill him. So too do those who have an anti-messiah spirit seek to persecute the contemporary watchmen of YHWH, those who cry aloud over the abuses within the churches. Sadly, there seems to be considerable hatred, even from fellow believers, against anyone who seeks to live according to the Messiah’s example and preach freedom from bondage to sin.
As Daniel and his three friends were given Babylonian names while in Babylon, DAN. 1:6-7, the author adopted the Hebraic name "PariYah" (correctly pronounced Pah-ree'-Yah) to signify the escape from our Babylonian culture of confusion, which we have come out of, to our esteemed Israelite heritage, which we have embraced. In that par or per in Hebrew indicates a separation, the author wished to signify that he had separated himself unto Yah. Yah is the shortened, poetic form of the Almighty’s name, YHWH (thought to be pronounced "Yahweh").
According to Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon, #6509, parah is a prime root that signifies bearing fruit, or fruitfulness. Thus, in Hebrew, PariYah conveys the meaning of being fruitful unto YHWH. A variation of this term appears in one of the most prominent blessings in Judaism: "Baruch ahta Adonai Elohaynu Melech HaOlam boray p’ree hagafen" – "Blessed are You, My Sovereign, Our Mighty One, King of the Universe, Who creates the fruit of the vine."
Much of the author’s interest in the spiritual abuse subject comes from being treated as a pariah (as in the mispronunciation of "PariYah") and a despised believer among those who claim to be disciples of the Messiah, contrary to JOHN 13:34-35.
Nevertheless, our Master taught that this could be expected, MAT. 5:10-12; LUKE 6:22; JOHN 15:18; 1JN. 3:13. Described as a "man of sorrows," the Messiah also was "despised and rejected of men," ISA 53:3. While He upbraided the religious authorities of His time for their abusiveness, as in MAT. 23, He also forgave them, as we see in LUKE 23:34. So too, we ought to forgive those who mistreat and abuse us in our spiritual walk, ACTS 7:60.
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Last updated: 04/15/07